Some Things You Can't Learn From Books
by LittleMissHugALot
Summary: "Bloody hell Hermione there are some things you can't learn from books and sex is one of them." Ron blurted out. "Honestly!" She roared "you keep saying that and yet neither one of us is enjoying themselves." "Because you keep reciting passages from those bloody books" He shouted "Very well Ronald,you leave me no choice" She said, standing up to walk over to the Slytherin table.


_**Some things you can't learn from books.**_

"Bloody hell Hermione," Ron blurted out frustrated, "There are some things you can't learn from books; and sex is one of them."  
"Honestly Ronald," The bookish lioness roared, "you keep saying that and yet neither one of us is enjoying themselves."  
"Because you keep reciting passages from the bloody books you read!" He shouted.

Hermione leant back to study the boy in utter astonishment; because that was all Ron was, a boy. "Honestly." She muttered; then, raising her voice so she could be heard by the boy she continued.  
"Ronald," She said, "Neither one of us can satisfy the other."  
"Satisfy!?" He repeated in outrage. "I could bloody well satisfy Lavender Brow!" Ron ranted before taking a breath to calm down. "Hermione, the reason this fling isn't going anywhere is because you're too much of a prude!"

'_A prude?'_ Hermione wondered. Well that was ironic. How _dear_ Ronald suggest such a thing? She was the one who had read many books on the subject. From DSM, erotica, foreplay to even researching some medical books to see where the most sensitive spots on the body where to stimulate. It wasn't her fault that Ron wasn't willing to participate in her experimenting. In fact Hermione was outraged by his pure cheek!

Just as she was about to reply however, Harry came to sit down at the Gryffindor table, starting a conversation about Quidditch with his best friend. If only Harry knew how much Ron was. Their '_fling_' as Ron had so rudely put it involved him bedding Hermione in a traditional manor; which was extremely boring on her behalf. When they attempted some activities that Hermione suggested, they would just barely reach a point of interest before Ron would start to splutter and stutter, fumbling and tripping over the most basic stage that he completed with such pride before forcing the two to stop. It was just so _awkward_. And it was all Ron's fault.

Hermione had so much potential. She just needed someone to test her and to play with her strengths. She was a sex kitten just waiting to pounce; she just needed some enthusiastic prey. Hermione looked over the house tables pondering on her predicament. On a spear of the moment a thought came to her. She was looking for prey. But how could the prey teach the prowler? In realisation Hermione now knew that she wasn't looking for some Hufflepuff. She needed a devious animal to teach her devious things; and what was more devious than a serpent?

"Very well Ronald," Hermione said stiffly, "you leave me no choice." Abruptly, the Gryffindor Princess stood up, climbed over the bench and started to walk off. The last thing she heard was a mutter to Ron asking, "What was that about?"

One Hermione walked to the end of the tables, instead of continuing straight through the arched doorway she took a sharp right heading to the darkest corner of the Great Hall. The Slytherin table. Ignoring the shocked looks from the remainder of the school who were having a late dinner Hermione stormed over to where some of the Sixth and Seventh year boys were still sitting. Ignoring _their_ shocked faces Hermione slammed her hands on top of the table, arms and back straight, looking down at them with a determent look on her face. Before they could they asked what she was doing there she spoke.

"Before anyone of you can start to spiel on about my _dirty blood._" Hermione stops to look over at Draco Malfoy. "For one in your life just shut the fuck up and listen up." Shocked with the golden girl's approach they just stared at her, wide eyed. "Good, I've got your attention." She smiled, sitting down next to Adrian Pucey.

"What is it that you want Granger?" Blaise Zabibi asked. "No Gryffindor in their right mind would come and visit the wizards that rule the house most known for scheming unless they were a traitor."  
The Girl snorted. "In your wet dreams maybe. But right now we need to talk business."  
"Just get on with it Mudblood." Malfoy snared. "We don't have all night"

Granger rolled her eyes, then sighed raising her eyebrows. Silence. "Are you done yet Malfoy; or do I have to go find some other house to get my revenge over Ronald?" The young man just looked at her with interest. "No?" Once again no one at the table spoke. "Good. Now, I'm under the impression that this is the sexiest house there is." Hermione waited a while for what she said to sink in. "I really need to know if this is true; if it's not please tell me so I can save both of our time." Everyone just stared at the lioness shocked at her words. "You see a certain friend of mine and I are having a debate on who in our 'f_ling_' as he calls it, is unsatisfying." Where the Slytherins rely hearing this or had someone slipped something into their pumpkin juice? "Frankly his methods are flat out boring and far too traditional for my tastes."

Theodore Nott was starting to like where this was heading. "Go on."  
"Well you boys know that when I intend to do something, I intend to do it well" The Gryffindor said in a business like manor. "So with a lot of researching I have studied many techniques that I'm finding rather exciting." She smiles as though saying _if only. _"But there's a catch. As you all know it takes – as the muggles would say – two to tango." Hermione Granger looks at them expectantly. "That's where you come in."

The youngest Malfoy took a deep breath "There are two things Granger. One; what makes you think we would help a Mudblood like you." Slowly, he started to smirk. "And second; didn't anyone tell you that there are some things you can't learn from books; and sex is one of them?"

_**And that is it from me; I would love to see this extended however I have commitment issues. So, I'm leaving it a one-shot and hoping for an adoption. Contact me if you're interested. Otherwise just shoot me a review.**_

_** Thanks; LittleMissHugALot.**_


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